I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
