don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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