I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
