And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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