we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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