If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize