My brain says no but my pants say off.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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