It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
