can u get pink eye on your cock?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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