how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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