You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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