just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
