Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
