i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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