i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize