is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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