How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
