Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
