What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
