if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I need to align my fucking chakras
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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