on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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