first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
