just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
