check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
