Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
