My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Pants are for mortals
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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