I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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