thus making me awesome and them whores
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
