i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize