This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
3 2 1 whiskey
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
