Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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