"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
