U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
