omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
