He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
