She announced her abortion via fbk
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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