You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
