I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
