if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
