I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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