Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He did a backflip because drugs
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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