i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
please come you make the beer taste better
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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