it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
