it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
