I'm really into asian looking animals
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
How does one acquire holy water?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I am available for nakedness
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
