i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize