Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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