i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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