I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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