well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
