Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
