what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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