Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Randomize
