Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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