Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
