Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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