Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
