Need sex. Gaining weight.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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