butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
