in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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