I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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